Thursday, June 14, 2012

Lysistrata Award to Michigan Rep. Rashida Tlaib


Today’s Lysistrata award goes to Michigan State Representative Rashida Tlaib (D).  Yesterday, she said
"I ask women to boycott men
until they stop moving this through the House."
On top of her proposed boycott, Tlaib attempted to amend part of Michigan’s new anti-contraception legislation (House Bill 57-11) so that it also applied to vasectomies.

Honorable mention to two more Representatives
  • Lisa Brown, who described her religious objection to preserving the life of a fetus over that of the mother, and who was censured for using the word “vagina”  on the floor
  • Barb Byrum, who wasn’t allowed to speak at all, reminding me of what happens when we fail to observe parliamentary procedure, for example at the 1969 UMWA convention
Learn more at Rachel Maddow's blog.

I’ll send all three of them “I support affordable contraception--and I vote” t-shirts as soon as I have some more printed up.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Secret butchery behind the temple

To me, this excerpt from a memoir by an Englishman who grew up in Kashmir at the turn of the twentieth century raises more questions than it answers. 

He describes the Hindu "pilgrimages to the caves of AMARNATH, the reputed source of the Holy Ganga, the great Ganges river."
A merry side-light to this pilgrimage was the traffic in temple dancing-girls or prostitutes, whom the richer pilgrims were wont to hire as their companions for the duration of the pilgrimage.  To them would occasionally be born a child; and, to hush up scandal, the temple-priests would have the unwanted little creatures despatched in a secret butchery behind the temple....(T)o the honour of Amer Singh and his brother alike, be it said, means were found—in the teeth of opposition by the all-powerful priesthood—to put an end to this iniquitous butchery.

Let's assume that these "dancing-girls" were Devadasis, possibly Dalits, who'd been dedicated to the temple.  They were rented as sex workers to wealthy pilgrims.  Let's say that they were far from home, that they may not have wanted their baby daughters to grow up to be devadasis or their baby sons to inherit nothing.  Instead of selling their children, or leaving them as foundlings, they practiced infanticide. 

What happened to the babies once the Maharajah prevailed and the priests stopped killing them?  Were the mothers forced to keep them, or were they adopted out?  Did anyone benefit besides the Europeans who apparently weren't offended by prostitution, but who objected to killing the "unwanted little creatures"?

Did anyone want them?  If they had, no one would've killed them in the first place. 

Wouldn't the prostitutes have been grateful for safe and affordable contraception that would at least have spared them unwanted pregnancies?

The biggest question it raises is "How could anyone call this a merry sidelight?"

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Unwanted Infants Die


As for women pregnant with an unwanted infant, a study at the University of South Carolina indicated that they “had a greater than twofold risk of delivering a child who died within the first 28 days of life.”  The study was not comprehensive, but one of the epidemiologist concluded, “Being unwanted puts children at increased risk of a range of adverse health outcomes, including child abuse and delayed cognitive and social-emotional development.”   

Nancy Friday wrote that in Our Looks, Our Lives in 1999.  Do I need to add anything?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Genetically Inferior Children

A road trip kept me away from the internet for a few days, but I did take a picture to share with you while I was in Charlottesville, VA: a historical marker commemorating Carrie Buck and the Buck v Bell Supreme Court decision on sterilizing "genetically inferior" people.

Unlike Charlottesville's many other historical markers, this one is camouflaged under the trees at the bus stop just north of 8th St. NW on Preston Avenue.  Feel free to reproduce the picture and spread the word. 





In case you can't read it, it reads

BUCK v BELL
In 1924, Virginia, like a majority of states then, enacted eugenic sterilization laws.  Virginia's law allowed state institutions to operate on individuals to prevent the conception of what were believed to be "genetically inferior" children.  Charlottesville native Carrie Buck (1906-1983), involuntarily committed to a state facility near Lynchburg, was chosen as the first person to be sterilized under the new law.  The US Supreme Court in Buck v. Bell on 2 May, 1927, affirmed the Virginia law.  After Buck more than 8,000 other Virginians were sterilized before the most relevant parts of the act were repealed in 1974.  Later evidence eventually showed that Buck and many others had no "hereditary defects."  She is buried south of here.
During the trip I fell even farther behind on my weekly Economist, but I still think this article might interest you:

It's not news now that young women favor Obama by 20 points (58% to 38%). The Scarcer Sex also points out that, as I said, women vote in larger numbers than men.  Get out there and vote, young women!  Better yet, run for office.

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Adoption is a reproductive choice


When economically-strapped families abandoned their babies as foundlings, at least they had a choice. 

When women stopped giving birth at home, they moved into a system that made their choices for them.  A recent yahoo! news story describes how women around the world, still bleary from industrial-strength anesthetics, unwittingly signed over their illegitimate babies for adoption as late as 1987. 
In Spain, an 80-year-old nun, Sister Maria Gómez, became the first person accused of baby snatching in a scandal over the trafficking of 1,500 newborns in Spanish hospitals over four decades until the 1980s.
Did adoptive parents choose babies with health problems?  


After then, the answer depended on the adoptive family.
(A)t midcentury, when social workers were still reluctant to place less-than-perfect children, many ordinary families expressed both willingness and desire to raise many different kinds of children as their own….Well-educated adopters were particularly interested in identifying children who could take advantage of a college education.
How many of these babies were from out-groups such as Native Americans?  And where did those children go? 
Did biological parents choose to extinguish their own culture?

Kudos to the families who adopted special-needs children.  Even the families who adopted Native children may have thought they were doing good.  Still, the decision about whether to put the children into the system at all belonged to the parents, especially mothers, and the news story makes it clear that those women were deprived of their choice.

I hope we can all agree that adoption is loving response to an unintended pregnancy, and yet the choice to put the baby up for adoption belongs strictly to the biological mother.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Knit a Uterus Now

Don't feel comfortable asking your man to show his support for reproductive rights?  Knit?

Here's a daffy new way to express your support for affordable and accessible contraception: 

Knit a uterus and send it to your elected representative.  governmentfreevjj.com plans to send these knitted uteruses to male representatives.  Their message is "Dear Men in Congress: If we knit you a uterus, will you stay out of ours?  Hands off my uterus! Here’s one of your own!"

To my mind, the message should also include those two important words:

I vote.

Also, female politicians also vote against reproductive choice, for example, Florida Representative Ileana Ros-Lehtinen and Texas Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison. They may need their own knitted uteruses.

Not sure who voted how?  NARAL has a handy interactive map showing how congresspeople voted on choice issues in 2011.  prochoiceamerica.org/government-and-you/us-government

You can find instructions for your own textile art here.   Even if you don't know the difference between a knit and a purl, let your elected representatives know how you feel about reproductive choice.

Monday, March 19, 2012

How Much Does a Eugenically-desirable Baby Cost?

Effing cheapskates!
Serious Applicants Only Please! Nice couple is looking for a young woman for egg donation. Must be between the ages of 18-25 and Caucasian, with family heritage from Europe, UK or Scandinavia preferred. Height 5.0' -- 5.10'. Healthy individual, smoke & drug free with healthy BMI. College education or attending college preferred. You must be willing and able to travel to Naperville and Downtown Chicago on multiple occasions. Please be prepared to provide one or more photographs with your application. A childhood photo would be appreciated as part of your application or selection process.

We are not an agency. We are working with a reputable fertility specialist, Dr. *** ****. Your health and confidentiality will be respected. If you are willing to help us, please go to Dr. **** donor website at www.****.com to complete your application, use Reference Code: HealthyBaby22012. Donor Compensation is up to $5,000 and will be given to the donor when the egg retrieval has been completed. Applicants will be expected to attend all scheduled appointments. We are looking for an immediate commitment and desire to begin the process within the next 1-3 weeks. This is a very personal and emotional decision for us and we appreciate your consideration and generosity.

Do not contact poster. Contact DR. ***** directly. Anonymous donors only. Only applicants posting directly with Dr. **** will be considered. Thank you in advance!
    Location: Naperville / Chicagoland
    Compensation: Up to $5K 30-60 days

$5000?  Who do they think they are?  Who’d sell eggs to them when the agency below offers “Compensation: First time donors receive $7,000+; Repeat donors receive up to $10,000”

Creating Pathways to Parenthood
Maybe not now, but someday you may hope to have a family of your own.  Imagine you couldn’t.  These are the people we help, and maybe so can you.
Become an egg donor: Help a Family & Earn Up to $10,000!
Highlights
Bring the joy of a child to a family
Earn $5,000 - $10,000
Leading compensation in the field
All expenses paid
Continue school or work uninterrupted
Caring support from our dedicated team
Industry-leading nationwide program

Experience what it’s like to help someone who wants more than anything to have a child:
Click here to submit an application today!

Requirements
Female between the ages of 21 to 29
Within normal weight range
Healthy, with a healthy family history
Non-smoker and no drug use
Some college education required or Trade/Vocational schooling
Must have entirely reliable transportation

Got eggs?  Can’t carry them to term?  Call in a gestational surrogate.

Become a Gestational Surrogate with one of the top agencies in the world and earn up to $40,000 and possibly $80,000 if you are a Surrogate twice.
Apply online at www.*******.com. Or call **** **** at our corporate office in downtown Chicago in the Hancock Building at 312-***-**** to talk with an experienced Surrogate who will serve as your liaison for the surrogacy process.
DETAILS
* Earn between $25,000-$40,000 per surrogate journey depending on experience
* Receive a $750 signing bonus after acceptance and match
* All expenses for surrogacy are covered
* Additional $250 monthly allowance
* Extra money for maternity clothes ($1000)
* Bi-monthly calls with your case manager and surrogate support groups

QUALIFICATIONS FOR SURROGACY
* Loved being pregnant and delivered easily on time
* A healthy weight required by clinics
* Don't smoke or take prescription drugs
* Age is 19-42 years old
* Have no criminal history or drug problem
* Can financially support yourself without surrogacy
CLICK HERE TO APPLY TODAY!

Learn more about us by visiting our corporate website or join our 3,600 fans on Facebook.
We are the #1 Surrogate Agency on Facebook and one of the top agencies in the world as shown by our very large and growing fan base of over 3,600 fans (more than double any other agency). When it comes to the delicate process of surrogacy and to ensure you will be well taken care of and paid on time and as planned, you want to be sure to work with one of the most financially stable, well known and respected agencies in the world.

Got the eggs but somebody’s shooting blanks, or there’s no man around?  Buy the sperm.

NY Sperm Donors Wanted/Make Money/Give the Gift of Family/New York, NY
**** ****, one of the world's leading reproductive tissue banks, is seeking healthy, highly educated men with a desire to help others. We are conveniently located on Lexington Avenue one block from Grand Central Station in Midtown Manhattan.
Apply online at: ****.com
~ Earn up to $14,500+ annually
~ Receive upwards of $2,000 in FREE genetic and health screenings
~ Help others
~ Minimal time commitment (less than 5 hours per month once qualified)

By being a sperm donor, you can supplement your income while giving others the chance to experience the joy of starting a family of their own.
Apply ONLY if you meet the following:
Basic Requirements
    Must be between 19 and 38
    Must be attending a four-year University OR hold a Bachelor's Degree
    Must be able to commit to our program for at least a year
    Must reside close enough to our facility to visit 2-3 times a week
Apply Online at: ****.com
You must pass the online screening before visiting our facility!
We are constantly recruiting males from all ethnicities, religions, and races.

No Clomid?  No needles?  No labor and delivery?  $14,000 a year for a checkup and a bunch of girlie magazines?  Young men, there are worse ways to pay for college.

Normally I include URLs so you can check my sources.  In this case I don’t want to send any traffic to these ads, though you can easily find them.    

If you find them on Craigslist, please flag them.  Flagging means that you request Craigslist to take down the ad.  If any one ad receives enough flags, Craigslist takes it down automatically. 

Even if you think that selling or renting out your body parts looks like a great deal, as someone who is at that moment using Craigslist you’re obliged to flag ads that violate Craigslist’s terms of use.  The terms forbid the sale of “blood, bodily fluids or body parts” but the site doesn’t maintain employees to enforce the terms.  It relies on users to do that. 
To flag any ad on Craigslist, open the ad.  Look for the box in the upper right corner that says
please flag with care: [?]

miscategorized
prohibited
spam/overpost
best of craigslist
Left-click on “prohibited.” That's all there is to it.

I kinda wish I could've made this kind of money when I was in the "right" age group.  I'm not entirely against this traffic, but I marvel to see how much people will pay for a "perfect" baby when so many children with issues are available for adoption right now.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Department of Stupid Questions I

(Disclaimer: I’m not a political commentator.  I may have completely misunderstood the situation. Still, this question has troubled me for weeks. I’d appreciate your considering it and adding your opinion.)

Are Republican candidates trying not to get themselves nominated this year?  Could the Republican party have said, “There’s no way we can win against Obama.  Even if we won, we don’t want to inherit the economy.  But we have to run somebody.  Who can we throw under the bus?” 

Could all the contenders be saying, “Huh, they want me to run, but I don’t want to be elected.  Let me offend as many people as possible before the convention.”?

If that’s what they’re doing, congratulations to them.  On the campaign trail and on their websites they say over and over again that they abhor various forms of family planning.

How do the voters they’re addressing feel about family planning? 

For up-to-date information, I checked a survey from the Pew Charitable Trusts about the birth control insurance mandate.

I use the birth control insurance mandate as a proxy for opinions on birth control in general. It’s not a perfect match, but the results of the February, 2012, survey below are timely.  The birth control insurance mandate required institutions with religious objections to birth control should be required to provide coverage to their employees. 

According to the Pew Trusts
A narrow majority of men (54%) who have heard at least a little about this issue say religious institutions that object to the use of contraceptives should be given an exemption from the new federal rule. Only about four-in-ten women (42%) agree.  ….Among Catholics who have heard at least a little about the issue, 55% favor …an exemption …, while 39% oppose exempting…. White evangelical Protestants, by an even larger margin (68% to 22%), favor …an exemption. ….By contrast, a majority (55%) of the religiously unaffiliated who have heard about the issue say religious institutions that object to the use of contraceptives should be required to cover them like other institutions…
So more than 50% of men, of Catholics, and of white evangelical protestants believe in limiting reproductive options.  The major Republican candidates are speaking their language.

Here’s who disagrees: women of childbearing age (53%), Democrats (64%), religiously-unaffiliated people (55%), and the health insurance companies.  Insurance companies don’t vote, but women, Democrats and people of less strident religious belief do. 

More Women than Men Vote; Some Women Vote Republican
If I read the numbers right, according to the Census Department, in the 2008 presidential election, women voters overall outnumbered men 

              2008 voters
Women    116,525,000
Men         108,974,000  

Now, not all those 116 million women voted Democratic.  43% of women voted Republican according to the US Statistical Abstract, Table 404: Democratic and Republican Percentages of Two-Party Presidential Vote, by Selected Characteristics of Voters

            Democratic Republican
Women ...57% ..........43%
Men ........52% ..........48%

We know that more women than men vote.  Based on the numbers above, can we assume that to 42% of the 43% of those Republican women voters access to birth control may be an important consideration?  
In that case, all the 2012 Republican platforms (and Ron Paul’s) are destined to offend an awful lot of actual voters.

Republican and Libertarian Anti-Family-Planning Platforms
Here’s what Mitt Romney says:
I vetoed a bill that the Legislature forwarded to my desk. Though described by its sponsors as a measure relating to contraception, there is more to it than that. The bill does not involve only the prevention of conception: The drug it authorizes would also terminate life after conception. … I understand that my views on laws governing abortion set me in the minority in our Commonwealth. I am pro-life.  (7/26/05)
Here’s what Rick Santorum says: 
He cosponsored and strongly supported numerous other bills that defended unborn victims of violence, ensured state laws on parental consent are observed by neighboring states, and championed legislation to protect the conscious rights of individuals and health care providers so they need not choose between their work and their moral principles.  He steadfastly opposed the federal funding of abortion and supported President Reagan’s Mexico City Policy… that kept U.S. taxpayer dollars from going to organizations that perform or promote abortion overseas.  
Here’s what Newt Gingrich says: 
Gingrich pledges to uphold this consistent pro-life standard as president.  …. Gingrich pledges to the American people that if elected President he will (i) only nominate judges to the Supreme Court and federal judiciary who are committed to restraint and applying the original meaning of the Constitution, and not legislating from the bench (ii) select pro-life appointees for relevant executive branch positions, (iii) advance pro-life legislation to permanently end all taxpayer funding of abortion in all domestic and international spending programs, (iv) defund Planned Parenthood; and (v) advance and sign into law a Pain-Capable Unborn Child Protection Act to protect unborn children who are capable of feeling pain from abortion.  

Not that what Ron Paul says matters much, but here’s his plan:
* Immediately saving lives by effectively repealing Roe v. Wade and preventing activist judges from interfering with state decisions on life by removing abortion from federal court jurisdiction through legislation modeled after his “We the People Act.”
* Defining life as beginning at conception by passing a “Sanctity of Life Act.”
Because he agrees with Thomas Jefferson that it is “sinful and tyrannical” to “compel a man (sic) to furnish contributions of money for the propagation of opinions which he disbelieves and abhors,” Ron Paul will also protect the American people’s freedom of conscience by working to prohibit taxpayer funds from being used for abortions, Planned Parenthood, or any other so-called “family planning” program.  

Did someone in their parties tell them, "Okay, fellas.  May the best man lose to Obama?"

Can’t they think of a way to say “If elected, I will not serve?”  Are they desperately saying the most offensive things they can think of in order to lose the nomination?  

Greater minds than mine, at the New York Times, say this
And they hadn’t foreseen that a prolonged exposure to vapid, wacky or outright dangerous ideas would start to repel the swing voters needed by the party in November. The longer this field has talked about birth control, or protected the low tax rates for the rich, the better Democrats have done in the polls.

 Am I missing something, or am I taking the Pew Trust, Census Department and Statistical Abstract numbers to their logical extremes?  More stupid questions to come.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Cargo cults won’t revive the economy

My friend Martine’s sister had a miscarriage a few decades ago.  When she returned to work, desolate over her loss, her boss grilled her to make sure that she hadn’t had an abortion. 

This is what the Republican contenders want to return us to?

Or maybe they don’t want women to earn paychecks at all, to send us back to the kinder, küche, kirche, which I loosely translate to “barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen.”  Is the Republican party a cargo cult?

After World War II, Rosie the Riveter gave up her job and returned to raising her family.  She succeeded at that as well, bearing so many children that we experienced the baby boom.   Pent-up demand and the introduction of so many tiny new mouths turbocharged the economy.  The US prospered, particularly  white male heads of  nuclear families. 

The term cargo cult is now considered derogatory.  It describes stone age people who observed the riches that arrived in cargo to the occupiers of their lands, particularly in the South Pacific.  When the occupiers—the military or the colonists—left their land, the cargo stopped.  

These people had no experience of modern economies, of how goods are produced and distributed.  All they knew was that they wanted the modern riches back.

So they reproduced what they saw the occupiers do.  They gave orders into disconnected telephones.  They fashioned telegraph wires out of vines.  They built life-size airports out of straw.  They hoped that if they acted like the Europeans and Japanese, they’d bring the cargo back.

People who behave like this are called a cargo cult.  In a pre-literate society, it’s understandable.

On the other hand, educated men should know better.  “The US economy thrived in the 1950s.  Women couldn’t control their fertility in the 50s.  If we could only put the genie back in the bottle and send women back to the kitchen, the prosperity will return.” 

“It’ll be especially good for us, since women will be too busy with children to compete with us for jobs.”

(They may be thinking that women won’t be able to compete for public office, either.)

Educated women and men who recognize post hoc ergo propter hoc fallacies need to stand together and say, “We won’t vote for people who think that turning the clock back will revive the economy. Literate and capable workers and voters, including the ones with uteruses like Martine's sister, will.” 

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

A most noisome, painful and fatal disease

The Economist article about German baby hatches reminded me about what we used to do with those infantile economic liabilities, unwanted babies.

It’s hard to imagine, or for anti-contraception activists to grasp, but in the old days people controlled their family sizes by abandoning their children.

A baby hatch is a revolving door.  People (please read “mothers”) can leave newborns anonymously.  A parent puts the baby in the door and turns it.  A caregiver on the other side of the wall accepts the baby without ever seeing the mother.  The old trope about putting the baby in a basket on the steps of the church works the same way.

Babies left this way are called foundlings.  Not all of them illegitimate.  They're also the offspring of families unable to afford them.

I’m surprised to learn that Germany still has about 200 baby hatches, and that people use them.

I wish more people would read John Boswell’s The Kindness of Strangers: Child Abandonment in Western Europe from Late Antiquity to the Renaissance. In the days before contraception, parents had to abandon infants.  Can’t afford or can’t keep that baby?  Leave it at a monastery or a foundling hospital.  Maybe some kind couple will adopt it. More likely, someone will buy it to turn it into a pickpocket, prostitute or chimney sweep.

Monasteries were happy to take on unpaid workers.  They raised them to be monks.  They  balked at their role as family-of-last-resort only when the law required them to offer adolescent foundlings a choice about whether to take the orders.

Which is better: preventing that pregnancy from coming to term, or knowing that the baby will probably be turned into a three-year-old chimney sweep because he’s small enough to climb into the chimney if you prod him hard enough, and knowing that he’ll probably die of scrotal cancer before he’s old enough to procreate? 

Chimney sweep's cancer, also called soot wart, was the first occupational cancer, identified by Percival Pott in 1775. Pott wrote 
they are thrust up narrow and sometimes hot chimnies, [sic] where they are bruised burned and almost suffocated; and when they get to puberty they become ... liable to a most noisome, painful and fatal disease

due to the accumulation of coal tars under their uncircumcised foreskins.

Affluent countries now protect unwanted or unaffordable children, but you still see them in poorer countries.  Take, for example, Brazil’s meninos de rua, or “marginalized children,”  pre-pubescent pickpockets.  Nancy Scheper-Hughes andDaniel Hoffman wrote in 1994 
These street children do not so much "run away" or "choose the streets" as they are thrown out of homes where hunger, abuse, poverty and neglect make life under bridges and in bus station restrooms seem more "peaceful"
These Oliver Twists may not have been foundlings, but their mothers' inability to care for them marginalized them nonetheless.
 
A woman who can afford contraception sleeps easier knowing that she won’t have to abandon a baby to a solitary, nasty, brutish and short life.  Family planning is a technological great leap forward.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

This t-shirt shows that you're logical and lusty, honey

When men agree that they’d rather wear “I support affordable contraception—and I vote” t-shirts than go without, they can celebrate with a little positive reinforcement.

Why?                                                  

We don’t need to read Psychology Today to know that “There is a substantial difference, and men have a much stronger sex drive than women.” 

Sex drives.  Logic moves to the back seat. Still, most heterosexual men, when they think logically, understand that women who are busy with children, or worrying about how to bear and afford children, can’t respond as enthusiastically to amorous overtures. 

Add contraception and voilà!  Women can relax and enjoy sex more, presumably more often as well.  To men, contraception means more nookie.

Men initiate sex often and refuse it rarely. Women initiate it much more rarely and refuse it much more often than men.”  Any man with raging hormones would welcome products that allow his woman to put aside her reservations and refuse sex less.

In fact, with certain exceptions, not to support contraception means either that the man is consistently illogical, or, well, he’s just not that interested in sex.  The exceptional man, the one who can validly object to contraception, is the one who commits with his partner to have as many children as possible. 

Fine.  God bless those couples.  May both parents remain healthy as long as it takes to support and raise all those twenty children.

For the rest of us, contraception allows couples to enjoy sex more (women) and thus enjoy more sex  (men).

The time has come for men and women to get out of bed and stand together in favor of reproductive choice.  Women, having lower libidos, can begin the dialogue.

Woman: 
Not tonight, honey.  I’m worried about contraception.

Man: 
Don’t we have some in the nightstand?

Woman: 
Not contraception for us.  Contraception for women who can’t afford it.  I really don’t think we should have sex until we're comfortable that anyone who wants contraception can get it.

Man: 
But, darling!

Woman: 
Don’t you agree that if we didn’t have birth control we’d be having less sex?

Man: 
Well, yes.

Woman: 
So isn’t contraception important to you?

Man: 
Well, yes.

Woman
Good.  We’re on the same page.  Now we need to show our support for family planning.  We need to tell our candidates that it affects our vote.  Both of us.

Man: 
Sweetie!  I’ll get blue—

Woman: 
Angel, I know you have your needs.  That’s why I bought you this t-shirt.

Man: 
How’s a t-shirt going to help me with this—

Woman: 
All you have to do is promise me that you’ll wear the shirt outside the house and things can go back to normal.

Man: 
It says, ‘I support affordable contraception—and I vote.’  What are the other guys going to think?

Woman: 
They’ll think you support contraception and you vote.  They’ll think that your sex drive is powerful enough that you’ll even make a statement by wearing the shirt.  And they’ll think that you’re actually getting some.  This t-shirt shows that you're both logical and lusty, honey.

Man: 
Oh, well, when you put it that way…

Woman: 
Let’s see how it looks.   Oh, wow!  That’s hot!  Come here, babe!

Who cares if the strike only lasts ten minutes, as long as men wear the t-shirts and show their support for a technology that improves modern life?  

A man will wear the t-shirt if his woman gives him a good reason.  If he doesn’t, well, don’t you have to wonder what motivates him?

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Powerful men need infant-care experience

Powerful men being powerful, they delegate childcare to others.  Let’s give them some hands-on experience by providing them with infant simulators.

Infant simulators are computerized baby dolls that enable people to practice caring for an infant 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They’re called RealCare Babies
During a simulation:
  •     RealCare Baby cries for care at all hours, day and night
  •     caregiver has to figure out what Baby needs: feeding, burping, rocking, diapering
  •     caregiver wears unique wireless ID to ensure accountability
  •     RealCare Baby's computer tracks its care and safe handling
Under my modest proposal, powerful men would care for the simulators themselves, and not be allowed to foist the babies off on aides or family members.

After, say, seven days let’s see what Rush Limbaugh, Cardinal Dolan, and all the Republican candidates have to say about forcing every pregnant woman to give birth. And let’s see what the RealCare Babies say about them.
  • detailed data is downloaded after the simulation, including exact times of missed care & specific mishandling—Shaken Baby, head support failure, wrong positioning and rough handling
Yes, this plan would be expensive, but the media attention it drew would be priceless.  Imagine a haggard Mitt Romney stumbling to the dais after several constantly-interrupted nights.  (I don’t imagine that sleep deprivation would make a huge difference to Rush Limbaugh’s performance.)

For added verisimilitude, we can provide them the infants the mothers and doctors might have preferred to abort.   RealCare Special Needs babies include tracheostomy tubes and suction catheters, gastrostomy tubes, nasogastric tubes, and urethral catheters.

Then let’s see what these men have to say about the importance of contraceptive choice.